Promises Made
by riley2002
Summary: A promise was made. Helena discovers the true meaning of that promise and how she fulfills that promise.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything or ever want to own anything related to Warehouse 13 or make any profit as a result of its production. It's provided a platform for the creation and development of my personal world. For that I say thank you.

**A/N:** Although this naturally follows "Letters Home," I make no claim that this is in fact a continuation. It is merely one possibility in this chaotic space I call my brain. Parallel worlds may exist and are always worth exploring. With that being said, keep crying, keep laughing. Without one you cannot have the other.

* * *

She tried not to smile. _Smile internally_, she thought. _The minute you move or think yourself out of this state it's over. You'll be awake, Helena. Don't smile!_

This was always Helena's favorite place. That moment in time, that half conscious state of sleep before something ruins it and wakes you up. She'd worked hard over the years to move in that place, extending her visits and allowing her thoughts to guide her through the haze. _Don't smile! _The pitter-patter of two sets of feet running down the hall would wake them soon enough. _Five years! Was it really five years today? _

_Bloody Hell. _She sighed internally. How tiresome it got waking with a dead arm. But the rewards were so worth the cost of having her so close. She'd gladly endure the ritual of returning circulation, the pin prickling sensation of reanimation. A rogue curl was tickling her nose. _No, I won't leave this place yet. Ignore it. Travel somewhere else… God, she always smells so good._ No single person's scent infected her mind like this. It never had. It had permeated her very soul like the soft rain to the soil in the forest on a warm spring day. From the very first day they met. Even after that four day trip with Pete last month without a shower, she could still smell her essence underneath the stench of a human body overused.

She'd never give up these mornings. She knew Myka was wide awake, indulging her in this trip. Myka always knew when she traveled. She'd lay perfectly still against her, almost on her, the warm, moist air of her breath caressing her skin. Her breast. Always so strategic. _Don't smile! _Myka was the master chess player when it came to her body. Long fingers softly traced invisible patterns on her arm. It was one of the few sensations that extended these morning jaunts of hers and Myka knew it. Myka found her own way to join her on these journeys. _How can she smell this good?_ _Don't smile!_ _Wander… _

She was waking; no pitter-patters, no impatient hands banging on the door, no little voices begging to jump on the bed into a pile of hugs and kisses. No teasing breath. She could feel her heart racing. She was struggling to breathe. Panic attack? She wasn't awake enough to speak yet. She had to talk now. _Myka, wake me up now, damn it! Why aren't you waking me up? You always know. Why does it hurt? That incessant noise. Myka, now!_

"Heart rate's rising. Respiration. She's fighting it. She's waking up," the strange voice said. "She's not going to make this easy." Someone was at her head fiddling with something.

"I didn't expect her to. Lesson number one." The murmuring in the background stopped. Helena tried again. Vanessa's face appeared, peering over at her, frowning.

"Helena. Helena, don't try to talk. You're on a ventilator. Blink if you understand me."

She tried to talk again and stopped. Everything hurt. Calming herself, she struggled not to pace her respiration against the ventilator, concentrated on squelching the panic. _Not again! _Staring at the woman's face she painfully managed to blink. She needed answers.

"I'll make it short. You're probably going to fade off soon. I don't know how much you remember. There was an explosion. The best they can come up with was the shockwave knocked you back and you were knocked out. You had a lot of smoke inhalation. You have lung damage as well as some contusions to internal organs. We're keeping a close eye on the contusions, but so far things are relatively stable and your body is handling it. Abigail somehow managed to pull you out. You're lucky she's an idiot. You have some minor burns, but they'll be fine…"

Helena closed her eyes, Vanessa's words blurring. A single tear ran down either side of her face. She let the drugs lead her back to that place. She didn't want answers. She remembered. She only wanted one answer. No one had given it to her and she couldn't ask. Later.

* * *

Closing the door with a sharp click of the latch, Helena stood at the door and looked around the darkened house curiously, frowning. One lamp was left on beside the sofa and a weak light from the top of the stairs greeted her with a warm, welcoming invitation. She looked at her watch quickly before turning the light off. It wasn't so late. Surely Myka was still awake. She'd called on her way home. She shrugged and headed up the stairs, anxious for a quick peek before heading off to bed.

Leaning against the door frame, she smiled at the jumble of limbs lying in the middle of the bed. Oscar picked up his head from somewhere in the center, blinked at her and settled back into his nest with a long stretch and a yawn.

"I said they could wait up until you got home," Myka said glancing at the bed from the bathroom door, toothbrush in hand heading for her mouth.

"Myka…I thought we discussed that." Helena gently scolded her. With a soft chuckle she said amazed, "They're like little monkeys. How do they sleep like that? How do they even manage to get into such positions?"

"Day got dat gene from you," came the foamy response from the door, the toothbrush pointing at her. "You till turn'to pwetel moe nighs." Myka returned to the bathroom spitting out the toothpaste and rinsing her mouth. "They really missed you this time and I knew they'd never make it once we started reading. So, yes, I gave in tonight. It's not like you don't cheat and let them wait for me sometimes. I can only imagine the secrets the three of you are going to have. The only thing saving you now is they can't keep secrets yet." She walked over to the door wrapping her arms around Helena's waist. "It's easier and quicker to give in when I know they're just going to fall asleep anyway than fighting little monkeys getting out of bed for another hour, or more, asking when you'll be home. Do you plan on coming in or are you going to just stand here in the doorway watching our monkeys sleep? House rule number one. I missed you, too."

"Did you? Just how much I wonder." Helena took her eyes off the bed focusing on Myka's as she wrapped her own arms around her. Minty freshness teased her lips open, followed by an insistent tongue deliberately examining her mouth. Clean teeth reluctantly let go of her bottom lip with a crisp bite. "Mmm. That much. I detect a bit more behind that greeting than just a hello."

"I hope so. I detect the taste of coffee, and you weren't sharing mine." Myka raised her eyebrows.

"Weellll, it was a long drive and I'd rather hoped for a generous welcome home." She rested her head on Myka's shoulder, inhaling the scent she could only identify as Myka. "I love the way you smell."

"A generous welcome home you're calling it now. Hmm. I may just reconsider my invitation. I had something a little less lukewarm in mind."

"Lukewarm?" Helena leaned her head back aghast, quickly fixing an astonished look into Myka's laughing eyes. "I take offense to that. I've never once been accused of being lukewarm. Cold perhaps, and with good reason, but never once lukewarm." She looked around her wife at the bed. "There seems to be the slight problem of two little monkeys sleeping in our bed."

"Oh yeah, that. That, thankfully right now, is yet another trait they seem to have in common with mummy, as well as being bed hogs. They did a good job proving that over the past few nights. They can also sleep very soundly when they want to, yet never when we want them to." She released Helena.

"Why do you always find such great joy in pointing out my presumed genetic influences, often implied as flaws, when you find it convenient?" she asked indignantly, hands on her hips.

"Right now it's because I'm way more familiar with your sleeping habits than their father's and I have no intention in finding out what donation he may have supplied. You turned into a horrible bed hog and end up in the weirdest positions. I can't tell you how many times I've woken up on the edge of the bed staring down at the floor. So, if we can actually untangle them…"

"I'm sure if I think hard enough I could tell you how often because you are very certain to remind me in the morning. I'm convinced you exaggerate. Surely you didn't really let them sleep with you every night, did you?" Myka ignored her. "Myka! I thought we agreed?"

"I'm sorry, but you've been gone a lot lately." Myka glanced across the bed with a pathetic half-smile. "We missed you, okay? They needed a little extra this time and so did I. You would have too. You're the pushover. If it weren't for me they'd be pulling all of your strings, not just half. Besides, it's not like you were the one getting kicked in the shins and waking up with a foot in the face."

Helena shook her head and picked up the battered book on the bed, chuckling softly. "You're probably right. I warned you I was far too indulgent with Christina." Oscar bounced out of the pile of limbs rubbing against the hand holding the book. "Why is it always my book?" she asked stroking the impatient cat. "I may very well just hide this. This particular book is very dear to me, you know. Just as a certain other book is to you that remains well hidden. They have their own copy," she reminded Myka, setting the book on her night stand. "How far did you get?"

"I told you," Myka whispered, pulling one limp child into her arms. "They missed you. They always want yours when you're gone and you love it. As far as that other book is concerned, it remains well hidden because of your inscription." Myka stuck her tongue out at her. "Where are we...Let me think, that was an hour ago…uh…since you left, we've gotten just past the geographer, but I don't think they were really awake for him. So that's where we pick up tomorrow."

"I wasn't gone that long, was I?" she asked, settling the other child into her arms, a small mutter escaping the sleeping form.

"Their endurance somehow magically increases when you're not here." Myka quietly spat, heading down the hallway and placing the sleeping form in his bed. "I swear they get extra batteries installed the minute you walk out that door." She brushed the dark, shaggy locks out of his face. "He got the honor of your corner four times the first night." She shook her head trying not to laugh, holding up her hand waving four fingers in Helena's direction. "Four times!"

"Four times?" Helena asked in mock surprise, trying not to laugh. "Clever, little boy. Not too long I hope."

"Of course not. He's not that old and he can't sit still any better than you can. The only reason you say clever is because you know he probably would have made it six if he got caught the other times. And, she won't stay out of the mud puddle you found that is now more mud than puddle." Myka pointed at her, exasperated.

Smiling, she bent her head back looking at the sleeping face and shrugged her free shoulder simply saying, "Artist. I thought I smelled the hint of a bath tonight. Bubble war?"

"When isn't there?" Myka smiled at the sight. Helena twisted back and forth, hugging the child close. "You know, at some point you need to actually put her in the bed."

"I know," she mumbled into the warm body in her arms. "I miss bedtime the most, even the most argumentative ones, and I couldn't call last night." With one final twist, she sighed heavily placing the child in bed, kissing her forehead. "Where's Bunky?" She frowned, looking around the room, finding the stuffed rabbit under the dresser. She laughed silently, eyeing Myka suspiciously as she crawled on the floor to reach under the dresser.

"Don't ask. You don't keep track any better than I do when you're alone," Myka said. "You get to do laundry tomorrow. There's a pile of her muddy clothes waiting for you since you found the puddle."

Helena straightened from kissing the other forehead and turned around kissing Myka's. Her arms wrapped around Myka's waist, she leaned back grinning. "But it is a very good puddle with a great deal of wonderful mud."

"Yeah," Myka sighed, "It really is." Disengaging herself, she grabbed Helena's hand and pulled her back to the now empty bedroom. "So can we get on with the not lukewarm sex you promised me? I promise I'll fill you in on their latest escapades later."

"What exactly does this not lukewarm sex entail?" Helena asked the retreating back, her clothes quickly landing in a pile at her feet.

Turning around with Oscar in her hands, Myka smiled. "Mmm. Definitely that." She walked by, sliding a hand across the naked shoulders. Pushing Oscar out the door with a quick 'Sorry, little man, I'm not sharing tonight,'" she locked the door. "Absolutely that, since a certain someone is still having a hard time with the knocking on doors concept." She threw her shirt into the pile Helena had started, leaning into the warm, bare back. Her hands traveled up Helena's sides lightly to cup both breasts as she kissed the back of Helena's neck, smiling when her head dropped forward with a deep moan. "And a whole lot of this…"

"She actually poured a full pail of muddy water over James's head?" Helena laughed, curled up between Myka's legs, her head resting on her stomach.

"Yes! Oh my God. Pete couldn't stop laughing and Sarah wasn't at all amused. I swear there was steam coming out of her ears." Myka laughed, her fingers stilled from threading through Helena's hair, bouncing the head resting on her stomach. "I was stuck between not being able to breathe and telling our sweet, innocent, little girl that she can't do things like that. Then she turns around and looks at me with those damn eyes of yours, totally confused, and says, 'But, mama, we do it in the bathtub all the time.' What was I supposed to say? Pete's laughing his ass off, Sarah's pissed at us because we can't stop laughing, and poor James is standing there not sure if he's supposed to cry or laugh. Thank God he decided to laugh with daddy."

Laughter subsiding, Myka's fingers continued playing with Helena's hair.

"Mmm. I've missed you. I have been gone a lot. You and Artie need to change that." Closing her eyes, she murmured, "You're going to put me to sleep doing that." After a warm pause, she opened them. "What a surprising turn of events that was; Pete and Blondie." She received a light smack on her head. "Fine. Sarah. Even you must admit that developed remarkably fast. We come back from Hawaii and start finding them hiding in all of our secret corners he discovered from us. Well, not all of them. We still have some secrets left." She smiled deviously up along the cooling torso. "How did your partner manage to keep that little secret from you?"

"Well, as I remember, someone was doing a good job of distracting me and keeping me very busy at the time."

She huffed a short, indignant laugh, sitting up trying to make sense of the forgotten bed covers. She placed a line of kisses up Myka's midline, smiling when hands dug deeper into her hair as she took a lengthy detour. "I will not take all the credit for that," she murmured against the moist skin, exploring the soft curves with her lips. "If only Artie knew how many times that office was used for activities far beyond that of your evening duties. I finally gave up keeping track of the number of times you shoved me into that little room. A good actress you became, though." She settled tightly into Myka's side and pulled the covers over them.

"Don't stop," Myka pleaded. "I was practicing for motherhood as it turned out. Who knew? You and your imagination."

"MY imagination?" A teasing hand returned. "Slow simmer, darling. Slow simmer. It was all your idea from the beginning, and look what a fine actress you've become. I am no longer forced to answer your Farnsworth."

"I hate you and your slow simmer right now." Myka stopped the nimble fingers, holding her hand in place. "After all your moaning and groaning about being taken out of the field you were the one that wanted the honor and I became the sidekick. As far as that little room is concerned, Vanessa's been shoved in there just as often, if not more, than you."

Helena pulled her head back, complete shock on her face, her frustrated fingers forgotten. "Really? How do you know this?"

"Perfume." Myka shrugged, smirking.

Helena burst out laughing uncontrollably, falling back on the bed.

"Shhh! Do you want the monkeys banging on that door?" Myka shoved a pillow over Helena's face until she laughed herself into quiet and reemerged. "The office and Artie reeked of it. It doesn't take a genius to figure that one out. Even Pete figured it out. Why do you think I invited you over to 'sit' with me so often?" Myka raised up on her elbow. "I had his secret up my sleeve."

"How did I not know this? You never told me, you ungrateful pignut."

"Just chance. I figured we all had our secrets and I certainly wasn't going to reveal anymore of ours! And about those select words of yours. You're not Shakespeare and you really need to stop slipping in front of those little monkeys of ours. They're going to pick that up like that black dress of yours does Oscar's fur."

"Yes, I know and from what I gather no one reads Shakespeare anymore. It's a much harder habit to break at my age and don't even think on commenting on that. I gave you two lovely monkeys despite it and I love you everyday for keeping that secret."

"I really don't get what the big deal is. You're not that much older than me. You don't hear me whining."

"Yet. My dearest Myka, do consider I was born in 1866. Soon you will no longer be able to actually count the grey hairs on my head without losing count. Something you seem to gain great pleasure in doing for some sadistic reason. In due time I shall start counting yours, which I'd like to point out are increasing in number as well."

"Whatever. I think I have more than you anyway. Now I know why my mother started naming hers Myka or Tracy. Really, except for your germ issue, which has gotten better, your birth date doesn't really seem to matter much. I think you look damn good for being over 150 years old. How did we end up talking about your age?"

"Pete's and Sarah's whirlwind romance and nearly instantaneous family. Darling, I think she got pregnant on their wedding night. It took us three tries, back to back no less. How romantic was that?"

"It wasn't that fast! But, they certainly weren't trying not to." Myka shoved the covers down to Helena's waist and brought her hand out to play, running lazy circles on the flat stomach. "Wow. Six times. So, we needed a little planning. It wasn't that bad, was it?" She frowned, her eyes following her hand's progress, wandering lower with each circuit.

Helena closed her eyes with a sigh. "It certainly wasn't the most pleasant experience and I highly doubt I would have been comfortable, a relative term in this instance, if you were not there with me. The second round was the worst. I can still remember the cramping. How I prayed we were done that time. However, you did a magnificent job reminding me later why I chose to suffer through the ghastly ordeals."

"Yeah," Myka giggled, reaching down for Helena's thighs. "I think we did a pretty good job with the romance part after each unromantic procedure. No one can ever deny they were conceived in love." Myka smiled when Helena spread her legs apart slightly.

"Indeed. I told you practice was encouraged. I'd say it was a good thing we had as much practice as we did." Helena was suddenly looking down at a surprised Myka who was unsure how she so quickly ended up on her back. Helena kissed her softly. "Are you still happy we did it?"

"Hey! I was busy seducing you here. You need to get your priorities straight." She paused at the serious face. "Practiced?" Myka teased knowing the real question at hand. "The answer to that question depends on the day." Myka laughed, stroking the side of Helena's serious face. She contemplated the face above her. "Of course! What would even make you think to ask that? Not much we could do about it now anyway." Myka laughed again, then sighed looking into the anxious eyes. "Okay, fine. Honestly, I sometimes wish you hadn't taken such a risk. Very little was in your favor and I don't think there was a day I didn't worry about you. That last month or so I think I was terrified every time you groaned, which was a lot by the way. But that's irrelevant now. I love those stubborn, little monkeys and they make me laugh every day. Yet another one of your genes." She cupped the serious face still looking down at her. "How did you know?"

"How did I know what?" Helena asked rolling off to the side watching her finger roam freely across Myka's chest.

"You knew it would be okay. Even after knowing everything that wasn't okay after each Dr.'s appointment. I was afraid you'd shatter before I got you home. They almost didn't let you come home that last time."

"First of all, I promised you I'll always come home." Helena tapped her nose. "You are my home. You keep forgetting that one. Second, your Aunt Grace knew. Elizabeth whispered to me when you went to get the letter. It was in the letter, darling."

"I know it was, but that's hindsight and even then it's still up to interpretation. What did she tell you?"

"She said Grace said one thing; 'If she agrees, have faith and two there shall be.'"

"That could have meant anything! Vanessa argued with you. I argued with you. Steve argued…Claudia didn't." She pulled her head back and stopped the wandering hand. "What did Claudia know?"

"I don't know that Claudia did or did not know anything and she'll never say." Helena shrugged. "I just knew."

"Why didn't you tell me this? They're three, Helena! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did. You just never believed me. Your aunt? Because," she yanked her hand back, continuing her exploration, "I knew it would do nothing to reassure you and in reality it would make it worse. Was I wrong?"

"No," Myka admitted dejectedly. "I hate that you still do things like that. That's never going to change, is it?"

"Doubtful." She stopped her hand, smiling slyly. "I have a rumbly in my tumbly."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Because you, my love, are ultimately responsible for its ever continued creation. Both rumblies, in fact." She smirked. "But before the one is sated, you didn't happen to hide any Twinkies, did you?" She bounced out of bed grabbing Myka's robe.

"Yes, and if you expect that other rumbly of yours to be addressed, no kimchi or hot sauce of any kind," she told the retreating figure peeking out the door. "They're sound asleep. Bring the ice cream back with you so we can get back to that seduction thing you interrupted.

Helena looked over her shoulder, asking hopefully before stepping out. "Strawberry?"

"Duh. According to you there is no other flavor."

* * *

"We're doing all we can, Pete. It's really up to her now," Vanessa whispered. "She can't breathe adequately on her own. Oxygen levels are low. The surface burns are minor. All we can do is be diligent and try to avoid complications."

"What kind of complications?" Pete asked urgently.

"Pete, stop." She heard Sarah's soft voice. It amazed her how Sarah's quiet voice always got his attention. "We're all hurting here, not just you."

"Pete," Vanessa started with a heavy sigh, "I understand your position in this. It's tricky. She's had significant lung damage. We could be talking complete respiratory failure, but they're trying to stay ahead of it. The internal organ damage is holding for the most part right now and hopefully they just need time to heal. There's been no indication of anything else as far as that goes. There has been no determination what else may have been hooked to that bomb. You know these things. We do the best we can. Like I said, the rest is up to her. She's done it before. Her vitals are wavering. We know her immune system is always suspect. That's the reality, but I've seen worse and they're still walking just fine." She rubbed her tired eyes. "She's going to have some permanent lung damage, how extensive, they don't know yet."

"I won't accept that," he spat, charging out the door.

Sarah started to turn after him and felt a hand on her arm.

"Sarah, let him go. Artie will take care of him. How's James?"

"He's with Abigail. He doesn't really understand. He's scared. I'm just glad he wasn't there. Jane will be here soon and we'll go back with her. Pete? Well, you know he won't leave her. He'll stay behind - for now."

"And you?" Vanessa asked.

"Kind of mixed up. I know I don't get the whole Quebec family thing. I never will. In a way I'm jealous of that and I'm glad we weren't there and feel guilty for feeling that way. But, if we were, than maybe…and then…Steve just got back. Pete picked him up. He's…he…" She sniffed. "I've got to go," she croaked.

She stared at Vanessa when she looked into the room. She knew the woman saw sad, empty, tired, brown eyes.

"Hey there. Nice of you to join us," Vanessa tried cheerily from the door. Even her professionalism was failing. She saw the eyes. Too much had passed between them over the years for her not to see the eyes.

She tried to talk again, getting agitated. Frustrated, she brought her hand up to the tube she felt. She saw.

"Whoa. Don't even try it, Helena," she said sternly. "They will tie your arms down. I know you can't talk," Vanessa said more softly, reaching to the side table. "This is the best I can do." She held up the pad of yellow paper and a pencil. "Are you up for this?"

She looked away, staring at an indeterminate spot on the wall. Why was Vanessa the only other person that got away with calling her that? Everyone but Myka called her HG. She was adamant about that. Except Myka's mother. It would always be Pumpkin, never Helena. She was HG until Myka. Then mummy. Why did she not consider anyone before this life? She closed her eyes, waiting for the drugs to take over again. She was too tired. She didn't want to talk. She didn't want to ask and no one was saying. _Let me go back to that place. Not here._

* * *

"Well, that didn't go quite the way we thought it would." Myka finally shut the door behind Claudia, leaning her forehead against the solid wall that served as the barrier between their two worlds. "She's still the last one to leave. I thought it was supposed to get easier." She sensed Helena behind her before the arms wrapped around her and the head rested against her.

"It's understandable," she mumbled into the shoulder. "Little by little things dwindle away as time passes. Change is still difficult for her with the people in her life." She sighed. "I'm tired and it's only going to get worse you know." She turned Myka around leaning into her with a yawn. "How is it our big announcement dinner turned into Pete's and Sarah's marriage announcement dinner?"

"Umm, Pete, in the true Pete way, just blurted it out in his happy, little puppy, over-exuberance before the last dish hit the table. We couldn't really burst their bubble."

"After all of everyone's push to marry us off, they go and elope. They always accuse us of being the cause of dropping silverware."

Myka laughed. "I think we may still hold that record. Especially after we drop this bomb. Steve and Vanessa are the only ones that even knew we were trying. Now what? Poor Steve doesn't even know. We said three tries and you can tell he's dying to ask, even for him."

"Well, three must be our lucky number. Come," she held out her hand. "Take me to bed, wench, and leave the dishes for tomorrow." Helena headed for the stairs yawning, Oscar quick to run up beside her.

"Or our worst nightmare," Myka said under her breath following them.

Myka jerked her foot. The annoying tickle returned so she kicked again. "Go away, Oscar," she mumbled. The sensation traveled up the inside of her calf and down the other. She rolled over onto her stomach, reaching her arm out to the other side of the bed finding it warm but empty. A soft giggle was followed by a gentle finger tracing up her calf again, continuing to her thigh. This time she moaned. Soft kisses journeyed up the other leg and continued slowly up her spine, ending with a sharp bite at the base of her neck.

The warm weight of Helena's naked form pressed her into the bed. "Mmmm. Have I ever told you how terribly irresistible you are in the morning?" The soft words caressed her ear with warm, moist air.

"So tempting you felt you needed a head start?" Myka asked.

"Mmm-hmm. At the moment I'm not tired and hormones are surging. I suggest we take advantage of my present condition because if history does indeed repeat itself, in an hour or two I will most likely be either vomiting, sleeping, crying, or yelling at you for absolutely no particular reason. I apologize in advance." She lightly bit Myka's shoulder before she was strategically bounced off.

"Poor Bridgett." Myka smiled over her. "If only she could tell me what I have to look forward to."

"It's probably best that she can't. I'd very much like to keep you," Helena whispered wrapping her arms around Myka's neck, drawing her in for a long kiss. "When are your parents awake?"

Myka shook her head at the sudden change of conversation under the continued growing heat and surging ache. "What?" she asked as a knee insinuated itself between her legs, lifting her slightly. She groaned at the contact.

"We must tell someone! Steve, at the very least, must be told today. Everyone else by the end of the week. I can't very well fake a stomach bug and Artie is going to get very annoyed at an unexplained medical excuse for not going out in the field."

"Artie has probably already figured it out." Myka's kisses continued lower.

Helena pulled her head back up. "You really think Artie can piece all of that together? He may have married a doctor, but I highly doubt he is capable of putting that information together and surmise the actual truth of the matter."

"Good point. Now shut up and let me enjoy your sudden burst of energy and lack of nausea before you start yelling at me," she said laughing at the absurdity of their conversation as she went back to her former destination. Softly nuzzling the wet breast she looked up at the suddenly quiet, open mouth. "This okay?" she asked cautiously.

Helena smiled. "Mmmm. Fabulous. Now do hurry up," Helena sighed. "We'll tell them at breakfast then we call your parents. Steve must know first."

Slowly, Myka's hand traveled lower between them. "Holy crap!"

"Welcome to pregnancy hormones, my love." Helena giggled.

"Is it true what they say about the second trimester?" Myka asked, awed.

"In my case, what do you think? If history does indeed prove to repeat itself, it's already started. I recommend a healthy diet and plenty of those protein bars Claudia always seems so fond of throwing at us. I only hope you can keep up." Helena pressed against the lowering form. "It almost makes up for the lack thereof later. Now stop asking questions and put that talented tongue of yours to better use. Myka…I'm begging you…please…"

"I'm begging you," she pleaded, laughing from underneath the covers. "Just a little longer. Please."

Oscar was long gone. He learned to sense these mornings before they hit the door and flung themselves onto the bed. His special morning time was over.

"What is all this racket? It sounds like a couple of monkeys got loose from the zoo!" Myka stood in the doorway with her hands across her chest. Two little heads turned in her direction, eyes wide until they saw the big smile grow on her face.

"It's a tickle pile," Grace announced proudly, bouncing up and down.

"Mummy's in the middle," Thomas called from the pillows, nearly sitting on Helena's head.

"You had to tell them, didn't you?" Helena complained, still tightly holding the covers over her head. "Now everyone will know. It's not fair you're not ticklish." She felt the added weight on the bed and an extra set of hands reaching for the ticklish areas, as she screamed trying to fight them off from under the covers.

"They kind of figured it out on their own, sweetie, awhile ago," Myka managed to say in between the laughter and clumsy tickles. "Okay, guys. Okay. That's enough!" All attention turned from the person under the covers, they flopped down on either side of their mother. "Hugs and kisses and downstairs you go. I'm still waiting for the table to get set for breakfast and the elves aren't working today. Everything is waiting for you."

"Awww. Do we have to?"

Helena poked her head out. "Yes, you do. Mummy needs to get dressed so we can eat a real breakfast, together. We'll be down shortly. Now, off you go," she said after the round of hugs and kisses. "And shut the door behind," they both cringed when the door slammed, "you."

"My turn," Myka said softly in her ear, straddling her lap. A long kiss later, Myka still cupped her face in her hands. "Right now is one of those times I wish we didn't have them."

"Ah, yes. The continual love/hate relationship with one's children," she replied with a yawn.

Myka sat back on Helena's legs. "I'm sorry. I tried to let you sleep in. I told them you got back very late and you were very tired and they needed to wait. And, they were told to knock on the door."

"Hmm. They did. Surprisingly, they didn't wait for the answer," she yawned again before flopping back on the bed with a groan. "I'm too old for this. What time did I get in? We are insane." The bed shifted and a pile of clothes landed in her face. "Isn't it a daddy day?"

"Not when you've been gone. I have work so they are all yours. He asked if he could take them tonight though and maybe the next night. He got a few days off and wants to do some 'really cool stuff'. He has no idea what he's in for."

"That shouldn't count. It was only one night," she whined. "Oh, bloody Hell, now what?" she whined again hearing the crash downstairs.

"I've got it. Want to take bets on which one?"

"It's always the same one — 'Not Me' and 'I Don't Know'. I thought we were quite clear about their names on the birth certificates, but apparently we missed something," she sighed pulling the shirt over her head and pulling her hair out through the neck.

"Myka wait. There's no whining, crying or screaming, which does make me a bit suspicious. Come here." She wrapped her arms around Myka. Burying her face in the woman's neck, she inhaled deeply. "Ahh. Much better. Now you can go help 'Not Me' and 'I Don't Know' with whatever mess they made as a result of what I'm sure you will point out as yet another one of my genetic donations." She tried to glare at Myka as she laughed at her and failed. "I'll be right down."

* * *

She startled at the movement beside her. She yanked her arms. She tried again. _Calm the panic._ A shadow stood over her. It didn't smell like her and it didn't feel like her. There wasn't a struggle or the need for walls. It was only her now. She laughed to herself. _Four became one and then there were none. Just me-empty. _The lights were on. Why were the lights on? She hadn't slept with the lights on in six years. Just night lights.

"HG, it's just me. It's Pete," the quiet voice spoke above her as his hands gently held her arms. "Hold on and let me get these undone."

She weakly yanked at her arms.

"Easy there. You were clawing at everything in your sleep or wherever it is you keep going. They had to tie your arms down. Sorry," he whispered. "You keep drifting in and out. I guess I'd rather be somewhere else too."

"Look," he scrunched his face up. That little kid look with his face all scrunched up with his nose wrinkled, and his eyes pinched together. The look he always got when he was uncertain. "I can go if you want. I just wanted to see you. Maybe stay for a little while."

She shook her head slightly.

"It's kind of funny, well not really funny, ha, ha, but kind of. For once I don't have to worry about you yelling at me and all I want is for you to yell at me. At least I got the sneak preview of pregnancy. You hit a lot harder than Sarah and you swear a lot more too, but don't tell her that. She wants another one. Kid that is. I know you guys thought we really rushed into everything, but I knew it was right. It didn't even have to do with any vibe. I never told you, but it was because of you."

Her forehead wrinkled.

"Yeah. It had everything to do with you. You just can't tell her why. She wouldn't understand. I love her and all, but she wasn't with us for the rough stuff, you know. When you showed up and then…you know what I mean. She just doesn't get it. How could she? Anyway, it was that thing you said when I got really pissed off at you when I thought you were insulting my kissing, which I still think you were…hey, hey, hey. No rolling those eyes. Sarah tastes right. I understood what you couldn't explain. I totally got it. And she smells…she just smells good. You probably don't care, but I wanted you to know."

She closed her eyes. If only she could yell at him.

"I'm probably boring you. I know I get on your nerves. But, Doc. V says it's all up to you and Claudia really needs you. Sarah and I are, well, never mind. It's just, you're the strongest person I've ever known. You can kick this. So, that's all. I'll just sit here for awhile so they don't tie your arms again. Just don't rip anything out, okay? Go back to that other place you keep dozing off to. You seem pretty happy there."

He was right. It was better.

* * *

"What's wrong with Pete?" Myka spun around in the chair as she charged through the door. "He just texted me saying 'I promised I'd never hit a pregnant lady but your wife is really making me reconsider.' What the Hell is that all about?"

Claudia snorted. "He didn't?" She caught the phone Myka tossed her. "Oh my God!" She laughed hysterically at the following texts.

"He pissed me off, I think," she huffed, slowly sitting in the chair.

"You don't know?" she asked incredulous, her mouth hanging open, glaring at Claudia before she made things worse.

"Of course I don't know! I'm pregnant! I warned you before we started this venture."

"What do you mean you don't know? What did you do to him?"

"Uh…" she looked away at the umbilicus door.

"Helena?"

"Oh, he'll live. He can still have children," she bit back.

"You didn't."

"Quite possibly?" she said weakly, sighing in the chair. "Never piss off a pregnant woman. She'll either hurt you or burst into tears. I'd forgotten how much I hated this part. I don't remember being this tired." She closed her eyes, resting her head back.

"I'm going to be playing referee again for how many months?" Myka mused, remembering the tenuous relationship Helena and Pete had in the beginning. "Please, tell me it doesn't get worse."

"I warned you. If history repeats itself…" She pushed herself out of the chair, refusing Claudia's help. "As Vanessa once said, we are in for a roller coaster ride, and not the kind we enjoyed in Atlanta. Myka, will you please drive me home? I'm tired and uncomfortable and I just want to be naked."

Grabbing her keys, she held the door open for Helena, passing Artie in the umbilicus.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Taking Mount Helena and her hormones home," Myka snarled.

"Thank God. Maybe we'll actually live to see another day," he mumbled.

"I heard that! If I weren't so tired I'd do to you what I did to Pete, whatever that was."

Artie dropped his lunch on his desk, eyeing Claudia. She sat, still staring at the door, trying not to laugh. "What was that all about?" he asked digging into the paper bag.

"Um, that was Myka dealing with the opposite end of the pregnancy hormone spectrum, I think. Pretty sure she hasn't decided which end she prefers yet. I'm not really sure there is anything in between." She shrugged, turning back to her work. "I don't know, it's all Greek to me, but Pete might want Sarah to bring some ice down to him wherever HG left him..."

She drifted away, not caring what she did or why, maneuvering in time. In that vast space she created, guiding her thoughts. Ignoring the sounds trying to steal this place away from her…

Nuzzling the soft abdomen, Myka purred, "There is no way this body carried and nurtured those two monkeys like it did. It must have been a stunt double."

Helena barked out a hearty laugh. "Oh, you are a sweet talker and an impossible liar. You and that sweet tongue of yours is going to get you anywhere and anything you can possibly think of."

Myka bounced up next to her. "It already has," she said breathless.

"It has, has it? If I didn't know better, I'd say you were close to crowing right now." Helena quickly pounced on her lover staring down into the dark pupils. "Something tells me you are far from getting everything and I was made certain promises this morning as two little ducks waddled away. Next you'll be trying to convince me I'm not forty-five."

"Not according to your passport," Myka sang. "I can't believe they're going to be five next week," she said, almost kicking her legs with excitement.

"Myka," she said with sincerity, "I love our children, I truly do, and despite those loving words of yours regarding stunt doubles, my body serves as a testament as to just how much I love them. However, do you think, maybe just this once, we might possibly not bring them into our bed? It's a very bad habit of yours."

Myka snorted. "Do you? You're just as bad."

"Probably not." Helena sighed. "As expected, they wiggle their way into every facet of our lives, including this one, unfortunately. I think we should do our best to try, though. An empty house can make me very demanding."

"Hmm." She laughed looking back into the impish eyes. "Well, I'd like to think their lives started here. I happily put enough energy into it," she smirked. "I love daddy days," Myka whispered, watching her finger travel across the collarbone, smiling over the slight bump on the left side. "I love not having to share you."

"Hmm. How, exactly, did you manage this day to ourselves and how long does daddy day last?"

"Ooohhh, too long and not long enough. Until we say so, really. He gets to be greedy. As far as finagling this day, I lowered myself to bribery." Myka smiled mischievously. "It's amazing the secrets I keep with that big, important job of mine. Artie's actually talking about retiring and moving to Atlanta." She ran her finger down Helena's nose, tracing the parted lips. She quickly had her finger held between sharp teeth, loath to let go, sucking it gently.

"Not interested right now. I'm much more interested in lowering myself." Helena leaned forward into Myka's warm, flushed neck. "I love the way you smell. Roll over." She waited patiently for the long body to readjust and settled fully on the long back, wrapping her arms around Myka's shoulders and encasing the long legs tightly in her own. Burrowing deep into disheveled hair, she inhaled deeply again on both sides of Myka's neck, ignoring the laughter she felt in the body beneath her. Brushing her cheek across her shoulders, first to the left, then to the right, she inhaled deeply with every breath, stopping to kiss the spot in between. She traced her tongue up to the base of Myka's neck, once more inhaling as deeply as she could before resting her cheek on her shoulder.

Between her moans of delight, Myka giggled from the pillow scrunched under her head. "What is it with you constantly smelling me? You've always done it. I don't think I can remember a time you didn't."

Helena wiggled around, awkwardly setting her head to look into Myka's face, whispering, "You're intoxicating." She kissed her, tasting every surface she could reach. "It's like the way you taste. Nothing tastes like you. You taste right." She kissed her again, lingering. "Your scent is all of you. It's calm. It's peace. It's warm. It's invigorating." She paused. "It's more than I have words for. It's home." She smiled into the fascinated eyes, caressing the side of Myka's face, lingering just before losing touch. "You do it too. You are just as connected to my scent. Why do you think you sleep with my pillows when I'm gone or take one of my shirts with you?"

Myka closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. "Mmm. It's comfort." She slowly opened her eyes. "I have a confession to make. When you did your disappearing act and they were threatening to pack up your room, I stole your pillows and two of your shirts and then what was left of your soap and shampoo. I slept with your shirts until they finally didn't smell like you. I don't think I ever washed them."

Helena moved back to her original position. "No, you didn't. Because when I stole them back they smelled like you and I carried them with me everywhere and I always made sure I returned your pillow before you got back. Steve caught me once." Her hands finding Myka's breasts, she took her time kissing the long back down to the firm buttocks, inhaling again with each breath.

The weight lifted off of her back, soft air tickling her ear. "It's a very locked up, empty house. You didn't happen to…"

"Your night stand. Top drawer."

"Good girl."

Later in her sleepy state, Myka felt the change against her back, happily enclosed by warmth. "You're doing it again," she mumbled into the pillow. "You're smelling me"

"Yes, I am, and I never plan on stopping. So, just go to sleep and forget I do this. Daddy day isn't over yet and I plan on taking advantage of you for as long as I can."

Rolling over in her arms, Myka kissed her. "Then please, by all means, continue taking advantage of me and I'll never mention it again. I can feel your body humming. No need to waste that."

* * *

How she loved this place. The in-between place. They never did come up with a good name for it. She smelled her. She loved how she smelled in the calm after their passion. Myka accused her of just liking the smell of sex. No. It was only her after sex. No one had ever smelled like her. She inhaled once more. Her eyes flew open at the resistance. Pain radiated through her chest.

"Helena, stop. Don't panic," Vanessa pleaded. "You'll get used to expecting it. Just relax."

Her hand was taken in a firm grasp and she focused on the familiar face. She didn't smell her anymore. _Let me go back where I can smell her. I need to smell her again._

"That's it. I'm told it really sucks." The kind eyes softened.

Helen nodded slightly. Empty. Sullen. She stared back.

"Artie's here. Are you up for that?"

She continued to stare for a long time, then nodded. She turned her head to the pad of paper on the chair. Pencil in hand, she managed a scrawl so far from her neat, eloquent handwriting. Far from even what little she'd managed before giving up with her left hand. 'Myka'. She underlined it twice, adding underneath, 'Grace - Thomas'.

Vanessa's face fell. "Here's Artie."

He sat in the chair with a heaviness she'd never seen. Marriage had been good to him — he'd softened. Relaxed. Vanessa was good for him. He smiled and laughed more. He'd slimmed down, was eating better, was the first to get up for their walks. Sometimes the four of them, with Oscar forever at Helena's side, would join Artie and Vanessa for their evening walks. More often, they chose their own path, sometimes with Steve, each heading home with a tired child on their back and a cat on their heels. Only twice did they turn their backs to head home with a temper tantrum left on the ground behind them, walking slowly waiting for little feet to catch up.

He took her hand. It was only the fourth time he took her hand. Or was it the fifth? Damn. She couldn't remember._ What do you expect, Helena? You are forty-five, nearly forty-six. These things start to happen. _The most significant time had been after the twins were born. She couldn't remember how old they were. Myka had to make an emergency trip to the pharmacy and had no one to call. She was exhausted, one of the twins was sick, and she hit her breaking point when he stopped by. He didn't just hold her hand. He held her while she cried, eventually falling asleep in his arms. He stayed and awkwardly helped juggling two foreign, living objects, pretending he wasn't embarrassed with nature until Vanessa got home first and then finally Myka.

"Hi. They've all been arguing over this. I know you know. I know you feel it, or how I understand it, you don't feel it. But, I think you need to hear the words. I've never lied to you and I never will. So here goes." He took a deep breath and dropped his head staring at his feet, looking for guidance. He muttered a few words she'd never heard uttered from his mouth. Yiddish. His hand shook. "We don't know how, but a bomb was placed in your house. We are under the assumption, though not yet proven, that someone surfaced from those special Regents' days. It was in the pantry." He swallowed deeply. "Grace and Thomas caught the brunt of the blast. They were the closest. They didn't feel or know anything. For that only am I thankful." The tears streamed down his face. "Myk…Myka was further away, outside the kitchen. She suffered little. Abigail found you outside of the kitchen against the far wall. She managed to pull you out with some burns from the subsequent fire."

She felt nothing. How could she feel nothing? Because she couldn't FEEL them. It was the emptiness that invaded her.

"I'm so sorry, Helena. I am so, so…sorry," he finally choked out. Vanessa came up behind him resting her hands on his shoulders.

She turned her head away, dropping the pencil still in her hand, oblivious to the tears streaming down her face, blocking out the sobbing in the room.

Artie stood clumsily, kissing her forehead. He'd done that only once before; the day the twins were born. She waited for the quiet space to pull her in. The space Vanessa provided allowing her to escape once more into her other world.

* * *

She was tired. So very tired. Everyone made their quick greetings, meeting the newest family members. When did their family become so big? Finally fed again and asleep. Thomas was already proving to be difficult, painfully, to nurse — typical male. Steve's smile filled the room as he stared into Grace's pinched up face. Myka sat protectively next to her providing a warm embrace for support with one arm, cooing at Thomas across her lap.

Artie awkwardly bumbled in with a little shove from his wife.

"You look like Hell," he announced. "Someone would have thought you just had twins."

"Indeed they would, Artie. Sorry. Not at my best to spar with witty repertoire."

She smiled as Steve cheerfully handed over his daughter to the surprised man. "Oh. Whoa. What are you doing…." A big smile took over his face. "Look, it's got your nose, Steve."

"That it, is not an it, Artie," Steve said, narrowing his eyes in disgust. "Meet Miss Grace Olivia Bering-Wells."

Artie's eyes lifted looking at the new mothers. "Bering-Wells?" he questioned.

"Oh yeah, " Myka waved it off. "Decided that a long time ago. She did all the real work so she gets the real ending and I put up with her so I get the beginning. The wordsmith in her finally admitted it flowed better."

"I can still hear you. I'm still awake…barely."

Artie smiled, his glasses sliding down his nose. "How am I supposed to know? Everyone has been so good at keeping it all a secret. She's beautiful, in a crinkled up sort of way. What is it with you and pale offspring with lots of dark hair?" he asked never taking his eyes away from the face.

Myka cursed at him, already protective. Helena managed a small, painful laugh telling him, "It might still change, Artie, but I highly doubt it will for either of them. A bit of a disappointment I fear for Steve."

"It's not such a bad trait." He looked up examining the tired mother, disheveled and near passing out. "I think it's a pretty good one from what I see. Better than some of the other ones I'm sure we're all going to come to hate and love at the same time." Artie nodded to the baby snug in Myka's arm. "And who is this? I assume the secret name can be revealed. A diaper needs to come off sometime soon too, from what I understand. You and your damn secrets. Both of you. I've had to sit and listen to him complain about being kept out of the loop all this time and I have a wife with a very evil laugh when she wants."

"This, Artie," Myka announced proudly, "is our son, Thomas Arthur Bering-Wells."

Steve quickly retrieved his daughter from the shocked curmudgeon before he dropped her.

"Cat got your tongue, you cantankerous, old fart?" Helena smirked from the bed.

Myka stood up, handing the bundle over to the speechless man.

"I don't know what to say," he stumbled in a soft voice, poking his finger softly on the tiny nose.

"You've already said it, Artie," Helena said softly. "More often than you'll ever know or I'll ever be prepared to admit." She closed her eyes, a slight smile on her face. "Now, not to spoil our little moment, but please, everyone leave us in peace. I need to sleep before they get hungry again, far sooner than I wish to remember."

Handing the baby back over to Myka, he leaned over kissing Helena's forehead. "You did good. I know it was a long haul and it's just the beginning, but you'll make it. Just remember to keep them out of my cookies," he teased her quietly. More loudly he turned to the oblivious, beaming father. "Come on, Steve. Try not to let that silly grin freeze on your face. They might be yours, but they're not yours. What the Hell were you all thinking? I hope you had a good long talk with Oscar, because he's not coming to live with us. He spends enough time lounging on our porch as it is."

* * *

"It's not, Claudia," Artie said patiently.

"Yes, it is. I missed something somewhere. I don't do that. HG doesn't do that. We went over everything so many times and strengthened all the security measures we had at Leena's, and then again when Sarah made her surprise announcement. No one should have gotten in!"

"Claudia, calm down. You need to stop doing this to yourself. It's not your fault and this isn't the time or the place," he said again more quietly.

"Artie, what did I miss? I kept going back and searched deeper and deeper, looking through that 007 life. Nothing ever gave a hint of anyone out there. What did they do? Just sit around for five years before deciding to ruin the whole thing? No one is better than me or HG, let alone the two of us together."

"No. No one is better than you. They just got lucky. It happens," he held the young woman to him. "Five years," he reiterated sadly.

She closed her eyes again. It wasn't the time or place. She didn't want to think about it. She was too tired. Everything hurt too much.

* * *

"Hey you, I thought you were asleep with Grace?" Myka said softly crawling into the bed behind her. "It amazes me how you all fall asleep like that."

"We were. They're off schedule from each other again and greedily going through a growth spurt. Sir Thomas decided it was his turn. You need to discuss with them the importance of nursing at the same time. Lower," Helena mumbled as Myka's hands rubbed her back. "Who was here?"

"Pete. I think he was a little disappointed you were sleeping, but he was too excited to wait."

"Hmm? About what? Oh, right there…Mmm." Myka's fingers dug a little deeper. "Not quite that much."

"Sorry. Better?" She waited for the silent nod. "Pete is going to be a daddy," Myka whispered in her ear.

"What? Already? Bloody Hell. We have to struggle and chart and test and hope we time everything just right and they…" She laughed softly. "Vanessa did say he had the more vigorous swimmers. Glad we omitted that little tidbit from him. So the twins will have an instant playmate."

"He also said thank you for choosing Steve. He understands what we wanted for him. He still thought it had to do with you and Steve, but is happy we let him have the chance to have a family of his own."

"I knew there would be strife between them regardless of what they thought at the time." She yawned trying to stay with the conversation. "Thank God, he's finally done. For all of his fumbling in the beginning, and may I say painfully so, he certainly turned into quite the little piglet once he got it right. Myka?"

"I've got him." She scooped the baby up cuddling him close. Helena moved over putting her head on Myka's lap, waiting for the tender strokes through her hair. "I'm not going to be able to do this for long, you know. They're going to get too big."

"You'll find a way," Helena responded, closing her eyes. "You enjoy it too much."

"Yeah, I really do," Myka said smiling, her hand immediately drawn to the head in her lap. "You know, maybe we should reconsider the bottle. It's not too late. I know it wasn't our first choice, but it might make things a little more manageable if someone else can help feed the little buggers once in a while. Like me, for instance."

"I've done it before and I can do it again. It just doesn't seem right to me. Nature gave me these huge breasts for a reason."

"I know you've done it before and I'm not saying you can't do it again. Actually, I think you're pretty amazing and I don't know how you do it. Even with my help juggling them. I'm not sure I could have handled one. But, you're not twenty-four, you didn't have twins and you didn't have me." Myka smiled softly, her fingers tenderly caressing one of the heavy, bare breasts. "They're not that big."

"Oh really, Myka. Are you blind? They are huge! They give Pete's Tetons a whole new definition."

"Even though you think you know what to expect, I have to admit, at first it was a little scary, but kind of fascinating. I love those Tetons of yours, and don't you dare tell Pete I just called them that or I'll tell him he had better swimmers! You might feel less like the sleeping, eating, drinking, milking machine you were bitching about the other day."

"Hmm?"

"Helena, are you asleep?"

"Hmm." She burrowed her head deeper into Myka's lap.

Myka kept stroking the head saying softly, "Helena, did you ever think maybe I may want to be a part of feeding our children? They're not just yours. They're mine too. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I didn't think I'd feel like this either. I know we've found ways to include me, but…maybe it's a compromise worth considering. It's still your milk. If it doesn't work, than so be it, but it might be worth a try."

With great effort, Helena sat up and leaned heavily against Myka, playing with the little hand that had escaped. "We discussed this ad nauseam. You've changed your mind?" She waited for an answer that never came. "It means that much to you."

Myka shrugged, non-committal. "Maybe." A stirring turned their attention away. Myka got up and swapped babies. A quick diaper change and she came back with the bundle, handing her over. Myka looked on as Helena laid back and propped up pillows, the baby latching on. "That is the weirdest position you two have come up with yet."

Helena glanced down, a faint chuckle escaping. "I don't care. I go with whatever works and this works well enough for us both. She's a natural. Thomas is the clumsy one that still needs readjusting on occasion. Silly boy."

"See...I don't even get to be behind you anymore. You'll be asleep, hopefully, and I have laundry to do. The dishes are still in the sink, you need more water, you're probably starving and I have no idea where your cat is. I really think you should take a walk on your own tonight. I know you're tired and this nap isn't really the nap you'd hoped for, but you need to get away and out of the house. Alone. Think about it? Maybe when you start mooing you'll change your mind."

Helena looked up at Myka standing uncomfortably beside the bed. "Myka, stop fretting. We're fine. Tired, yes, but we're doing well enough and we'll manage it somehow. We always do. Bering and Wells, remember? Now, forget the laundry. We have plenty of clean dishes and Oscar is probably hanging out in the sun on the Nielsen porch. It's not important; you are. Claudia's helping tomorrow and I suspect that dinner is being brought to us once again. Stay with us now. Please?" She waited for Myka to carefully stretch out alongside them wrapping an arm protectively around them both. "Myka, I do love you so very much," she said in a tired voice.

"I know. I love you, too. It doesn't matter. I just want what's best for them."

"You don't have to wait for me to moo. We'll try to introduce a bottle. Claudia was right. You are a wonderful mother," Helena mumbled off, finally asleep.

Myka snuggled closer placing her head up against the sleeping woman's leaving a soft kiss on her cheek. "I love you so much, Helena Wells. You are amazing." She closed her eyes happily listening to the soft sounds and was asleep in minutes...

The smell of spring infected her nostrils. The warm sun reflected off of the dark haired children knee deep in the small pond. "There's another one," she said quietly, pointing to a spot in the grass on the bank. Thomas tried to sneak up on the amphibian, taking a quick dive and falling on his knees with a massive spray of muck. Grace squealed with laughter. She'd actually managed to catch a frog who was frantically squirming out of her small hands. Helena quickly grabbed the slimy creature placing him in the deep bucket. Mud spattered on her face, her clothes were as wet and muddy as the two little people splashing about, quickly getting bored with catching frogs and more interested in who could make the biggest splash.

Helena scooped up a small glob of frog's eggs placing them in the other bucket of water. "Thomas, no. Don't throw the mud at your sister." She sighed heavily when Grace retaliated by dumping a handful on his head.

"He needs pamshoo, mummy."

She smiled placing both hands on her hips. "I see that. I also see that an equally dirty girl is in great need of a bath as well. Come, children. Mama should be home by now and mummy desperately needs a shower. Grace, leave the mud behind. It will still be here for next time." She hid a smile saying to herself, "I think we all have quite enough mud already."

The children raced ahead of her, happily screaming, trying to beat the other home as she picked up both pails. Myka was attacked on the swing before the sound of loud, bare feet on the porch registered. Claudia quickly jumped out of the way of the wet, muddy forms screaming, "Mama!"

"Oh! My darling children." Myka looked down at Helena from the porch. Now wet and muddy with two children hanging from her neck, her eyes narrowed. "My darling, lovely, very muddy, wet children. What has mummy been up to with you?"

"We've been catching fwogs! See?" A dark head happily peeked into one of the pails Helena had set on the ground, pointing at two bulging eyes peeking back just above the water. "Dey're in mummy's pail. Aunt Claudia has a fish tank for dem."

"Don't look at me," Claudia quickly said in response to the excited, little voice, slowly backing away. "I didn't take them. I'd look at that wife of yours if I were you, who is kind of looking at me in her really scary way right now."

Already distracted, the two children were chasing each other around the lawn. Oscar had pounced out of somewhere and was curiously examining an escaped frog, bouncing back when it jumped. Claudia quickly joined the foray, escaping the oncoming storm on the porch.

Myka frowned from the porch, arms already firmly crossed. "So this is what I get to come home to after four days of Pete telling me how wonderful James is. I come home and have to deal with two very wet and muddy children and and an even muddier wife," she said sternly. "You took them frogging in the pond. The pond which is really muddy. You played in the mud with them. How could you do that? You knew I was going to be home. Don't ever take them frogging," she smiled at Helena's sheepish expression, "without me again. House rule number one still applies, muddy or not." She jumped off the porch happily taking a surprised Helena in her arms. "I'd kiss you too, but you have mud splattered all over your face, which is really, really cute, but I really don't want a gritty kiss. We need a shower."

"Yes. Well, that will have to wait. As you've pointed out, we have two very dirty children that require baths and most likely a nap. I suggest we start with the water hose first and then strip them down outside."

"Turn around," Myka said amused, her hands gently guiding Helena's shoulders.

Helena turned around in her arms. Claudia had already started, getting herself wet in the process.

"Don't worry about us!" Claudia yelled from the screams and laughter, water hose in hand. "I've got these two under control — sort of. I'm going to guess they're going to crash after baths so you all go home to that love shack of yours and I'll keep these little rug rats until your walk. I'm sure you can find ways of, uh, entertaining yourselves without them for awhile. Maybe start with a shower, or bath."

"And to think," Helena leaned back against Myka's solid form, "I thought playing in the pond was as wet as I'd get anytime soon."

"Huh?" Myka tore her attention away from the scene in front of her.

"Really, Myka, you can be such an idiot sometimes." She grabbed Myka's hand pulling her off her feet. "Quickly now, before Claudia changes her mind. I've missed you and I'm horny as Hell and can eat as many Twinkies as I want MUCH later without worrying about being caught by a stealthy four-year old. We've just been granted a gift a parent never refuses."

* * *

The smell. It was always the smell. Her face buried in her neck in the morning, inhaling deeply that first moment she was awake. Even the odd mornings with a spare foot in her face it was always the first thing she sought out. She felt the weight on the side of the bed and reached her hand out, setting it on the head. How many times had they done this? It felt different.

"That's a sight I haven't seen in a long time. For a minute I thought everything was wrong and you were Myka." Vanessa's quiet voice carried across the room intruding on the sounds of the monitors.

Her hand fell away defeated when the head lifted. There was no smell.

"Huh?" Claudia grunted sleepily from the side of the bed.

"Myka. She never left her side. I finally gave up trying. She'd sleep with her head on the bed like that for hours, her hand resting wherever she could find her. I never understood how she could move. I think she just hid the kinks and cramps. Somehow, Helena's hand always found her."

"Oh. Yeah. They're freaky like that. Were." Claudia sniffed. "I didn't want her to be alone. I don't want to be alone. It's not fair and it's all my fault."

"No, Claudia," Vanessa said sadly shaking her head, "It's not. Artie is right. Someone just got lucky. Helena is still here. She's fought plenty of battles. She can fight this one too," Vanessa said softly.

"You don't believe that though, do you? I know when her vitals are wacky. We've all seen them enough. And her stupid immune system. That's why you have her in this bubble." Claudia accused her. "She won't fight this one. She has nothing to fight for and you know it. She's tired."

"Claudia, we never know what a person can or can't do. Her lungs sustained a lot of damage. But, I believe things happen beyond what science can do. They were living proof of that and I have never seen them as happy as they've been over the past six years. More than six. Keep the faith. Isn't that what Steve says? Go get something to eat. I'll sit until you get back."

The chair scraped across the floor. _Take me back! This is not where I belong. I want to go home._

"Steve is supposed to be here soon. He's been here twice, but she just slept."

She wasn't asleep. It's not time to see him.

* * *

"No, Artie. I am sorry, but I'll need to work from home. That's why all of you set the network up over here, isn't it? And we have the new laptop now. Myka's not the only one that can function from here." Helena pleaded over the screen rocking the small girl with her arms wrapped tightly around Helena's neck. "Have you had any word from Pete and Myka? She didn't call for bedtime last night."

"Is dat Uncle Fartie?" a tiny voice spoke from her side, his head peering up over the chair to look at the screen on Myka's desk, standing on his toes. "Hi, Uncle Fartie!"

"Uncle Fartie?! I suppose I have you to thank for that?"

"No, I can't take the credit for that one. Although I very much wish I could. He came up with that all on his own, so naturally, Grace picked up on it immediately. Artie, I am sorry. I've tried to correct them but right now I have to choose my battles and I chose a sick child." She looked down at Thomas, caressing his head. "Darling, will you do mummy a big favor, please, and go find Bunky for me?"

"Okay. Bye, Uncle Fartie!" Tiny feet rushed off at full speed down the hallway.

"Now, what about Myka?"

"We got a quick word from them late last night. They were right on schedule and should be home tonight. Do you want me to call Vanessa?" he asked in an unusually small, concerned voice.

"No need to call her. Besides, she's in Atlanta. There's nothing she can do from there. I've dealt with a sick child before. It's nothing more than a stomach bug. I've done the work from here before and all I'm doing is research. We've managed quite well in the past. Unfortunately it means more leg work for you."

A tiny stuffed rabbit came into view, followed by a floppy eared stuffed dog. "Here's Bunky, mummy. Hi, Uncle Fartie! Grace has a bug in her tummy. Here mummy, I brought Pepper. He makes me feel better. Hi, Uncle Fartie! I want a bug in my tummy too."

"Hello, Thomas," Artie said trying not to laugh. "I don't think you want a bug in that tummy. It's not as much fun as it sounds." He was growing into a tiny version of his mother more every day than he'd ever tell them. Grace leaned more towards Steve's temperament.

She looked down at the boy ready to thank him when her eyes widened in surprise. "Darling, where are your jams? Aren't you cold?"

"But, mummy, you don't sleep in clothes. I don't want to wear jams anymore."

She heard Claudia's snort from behind Artie and her face turned red. A recent development with unfiltered voices. Oddly, it was Myka who would have laughed and come up with a quick reply. "Darling, mummy's sleeping habits are one of those things we keep private and do not tell other people," she said quietly and sighing heavily, continuing more softly, "Even though they know far more about mummy's bedtime habits than she cares to remember."

"Mummy, I don't feel good." He leaned forward, a stream of vomit expelling effortlessly on her. "Bloody Hell," he exclaimed, staring at the mess.

"Lovely. Make that two sick children." She placed a hand against the warm forehead. "I'll do what I can, Artie, but I think this day has been lost. She's already half asleep and he won't be too far behind I'm sure."

"Nice one, HG. How do you plan on explaining that little expletive to Myka?" Claudia started laughing.

"Not well, I'm afraid. I may just have put myself in the proverbial dog house." Helena cringed hearing Myka's voice in the back of her head getting on her case over her unconscious slips around the children.

"Do you want some help? I can take a turn and Abigail will be back in the afternoon." Claudia asked, concerned at the scene unfolding before their eyes. "Nice shirt by the way. Might want to consider the recycling bin."

Helena looked down at the old, ripped and holey Hello Kitty tee shirt Claudia had sent her when they were in Atlanta. "Yes. Well, it was the first thing I could put a hand on at two a.m. when a little girl woke me up and emptied her stomach, and now appears to join the growing pile of sick laundry. I don't need help. I'll be fine. I know how to deal with a sick child." Another wave of vomit landed on her. "Which means I must deal with….this. I'll check back as soon as things get settled a bit here, if there is such a thing in this house." She cut the two faces off.

"Mummy." The little hand pulled on her shirt.

"Yes, Thomas, I know. Let us go find you some clean jams and get you cleaned up so I can clean this up. Then, we'll all cuddle in mummy's big bed together. Think about what stories you want, or better yet, how about mummy just makes them up for you instead. And please try not to…" Another small amount of vomit came forth. "Throw up again," she sighed.

The smell. The touch. It was always so comforting. She felt the soft stroke across her cheek, smelled that smell before she opened her eyes.

"Hey, sweetie." Myka stroked her cheek again, kneeling by the side of the bed. She looked at the two sleeping forms snuggled around her. Oscar chirped a greeting from his spot by her head, curled on Myka's pillow. She gave him a quick scratch under the chin. "Hey, little man. Did you take care of her for me while I was gone? I get my pillow back tonight. Preferably with a new pillowcase that doesn't say 'Oscar slept here.'" Pushing the hair out of Helena's face, she continued to stroke her forehead. "I heard you had a rough day. Why didn't you ask for help? Claudia offered."

"I know how to take care of my sick children," she said defiantly.

Myka nodded her head twice, smirking. "Uh-huh. Pride. Sweetie, anyone alone with two sick kids doesn't say no to help freely and happily given. Claudia would have gladly spent the day rocking a clingy, sick monkey. She begs us for it now. Puke doesn't even bother her anymore." She smiled caressing the side of Helena's face, leaving her hand against it. "How are they?" she asked, glancing back over the sleeping bodies clinging to their mother.

Helena smiled faintly, sitting up gently, disentangling the ball of bodies. "Sleeping it appears. Astonishingly, at the same time. It seems to be…what did you call that last one?"

"A fast mover?"

"Yes, a fast mover. I suspect they'll be back to their normal monkey selves in the morning. You get to deal with them while Oscar and I sleep in. I just hope…oh..." She ran off to the bathroom retching.

Myka confirmed the little ones were sound asleep and followed Helena to the bathroom, picking up a cold cloth and kneeling beside her. "What makes me think the rest of that was going to be something about you not catching it? I think it's a little late, sweetie." She kissed the moist forehead. "Let's just hope you can fight it off just as quickly. I'll give Vanessa a heads up. At this point I think she keeps fluids on hand just for you. Until then, um, about those two little words of yours…" She took the sick woman in her arms, wiping her face with the cool cloth.

"Ahh. Yes. Sorry about that. I'd say it's a bit late already. We'll manage it somehow." She relaxed into Myka's arms. "I hope Uncle Fartie sent you home with chicken soup."

* * *

The smell was gone. A shadow in the corner caught her eye. The weight remained at the side of the bed. She turned slightly, resting a hand on the head again, startling Claudia. The shadow remained behind the woman in the chair. The corner of her mouth lifted as she nodded her head slightly.

"Hey, HG. I didn't think I'd ever actually see you awake. You keep drifting in and out. Everyone's been here, but you're never awake."

Her mouth twitched in a slight smile again, the shadow fading.

"Hey, wait a minute…you've been faking, haven't you? Sometimes I really hate you. Steve's been in three times with you. I guess I can see why you don't want to see him."

She closed her eyes, hoping the girl would leave. She was still there, staring at her when she opened her eyes. The mouth opened and closed a few times. _Here it comes_, she thought.

"I'm sorry. It's all my fault." Claudia burst into tears.

She motioned for the pad. 'NO!' She turned a page. 'STOP!' She pointed the pencil at her and turned to the next page. Hesitating, with a burst of energy she finally scribbled the most she had yet: 'not your fault. we did everything we could. YOU did. knew you kept track and never told anyone.' She turned the page. 'You are remarkable. ALL of you'. She turned the last page, hesitating again. 'love you all. thank you.' She dropped the pad of paper and pencil in her lap, exhausted, and took the girl's hand, squeezing as firmly as she could with the last burst of energy gone and shut her eyes.

* * *

"Ah, Ms. Wells." The man sat before the chess board. "How nice to see you again, but our game is over."

Helena looked around her. Warehouse 12. "Caturanga? I've been here before. What am I doing here? I don't belong here. Where is Myka? Where are Thomas and Grace?"

"Now, that is a puzzle, isn't it?" He laughed. "But you already know the answer to that. A seal can only be broken once."

"Mummy?" Christina stepped from behind the laughing man, her hands resting on his shoulders. "Why are you here?"

"Christina? Darling, what are you doing here? I don't understand. I don't belong here. I need to go home."

"Yes, you do Miss Wells. You cannot stay here. You've always known where you belonged. Great happiness you found there. You are happy, aren't you?"

"Yes, of course. Outrageously happy."

"With extreme pain comes extreme happiness. Christina will show you the way."

"I can't smell her. I need to smell her again! I need to go home where I can smell her."

"Then that is where you most go. You may have never beaten me, but you never once lost your queen." He pointed behind her.

She turned around and caressed the marble queen, absorbing its warmth. "Not the bloody queen again. I tire of your riddles," she whimpered. "Just let me sleep. I need to go home…"

She tried not to smile. _Smile internally_, she thought. _The minute you move or think yourself out of this state it's over. You'll be awake, Helena. Don't smile!_

This was always Helena's favorite place. That moment in time, that half conscious state of sleep before something ruins it and wakes you up. She'd worked hard over the years to move in that place and extend her visits. To allow her thoughts to guide her in that haze. _Don't smile! _The pitter-patter of two sets of feet running down the hall would wake them soon enough. _Five years! Was it really five years today?_

Her nose twitched. A rogue strand of hair moved with each breath, tickling her nose. She loved that smell. She smiled. It was gone. That free space. She groaned with the loss and buried her hand in the hair the strand belonged to, lightly scraping the scalp beneath. She groaned again. This time for the too short moment she knew they'd have of peace.

The weight on her chest shifted and she opened her eyes looking into bright, smiling green ones. A finger settled against her lips.

"Shh. Maybe their spidey senses won't kick in and they won't know we're awake," Myka whispered before replacing her finger with her lips.

"Mmmm. Hey…" Helena's eyes flew open at the loss of contact.

"Shhh." The finger quickly rested against her lips again.

"Why did you stop kissing me?" she whispered against the finger. "You don't really think they'll sleep in today, of all days, do you? It's their birthday."

"Why do you think I made them play with James all day and then gave them to Claudia and then patiently, but painfully, put up with over-tired, cranky, whiny kids last night after dinner while you hid in the office all night until bedtime? You are a coward. It was part of my master plan," Myka whispered, smiling brightly, her eyes wide. "You just need to be quiet."

Taking the finger away from her lips she whispered again, "We may very well still have over-tired, cranky, whiny children with this plan of yours. What is this plan of yours, exactly, if I may ask? "

"This one," Myka said kissing her again, taking her time. "The things I have to do now just to make love to you," she said softly. "Happy birthday."

"It's not my birthday," Helena said simply. "My birthday is next month."

"Uh, I was there, remember? It was really hot that day. I was in fear of you breaking my hand and graciously took the blame for everything, including getting you pregnant. And, just for the record I want to finally point out that was really all Steve and Vanessa's doing. I just finally gave up arguing the risks and said yes, knowing I'd be terrified for you for a year. The munchkins weren't the ones giving birth. It's called labor for a reason. They just got the benefit of ending up with two really great moms. You did all the work getting them here, until that last part, which scared the Hell out of me, even though we pretty much knew it would happen. You're absolutely amazing and I love you for bringing our children to us."

"Then why did you stop kissing me?" Helena whispered back emphatically.

"Because for some stupid reason you're asking questions when I'd really rather be doing something else and not wasting what precious little time we ever have anymore answering your stupid questions." Myka started laughing.

"Shhhh!" Helena held her hand over Myka's mouth, listening carefully for any sound emanating from the rooms down the hall. "Did you lock the door?"

"You should know me better than that. Ever since that little 'can I hug mummy too?' incident when they were, uh, three? Damn straight it's locked. You've been wandering around in that little world of yours I let you indulge yourself in every morning."

"Are they really five?" Helena asked in wonderment.

Myka shook her head. "You'll never learn will you," she whispered kissing her again. "Sometimes this is the only way I can get you to shut up. And don't think for a minute I don't know you do it on purpose."

Helena flipped Myka over quickly. "If it's my birthday too, than we must play by my rules."

Pushing Helena away, panting for air, Myka laughed weakly. "Your rules? I'll bet you laundry day that means you end up underneath me..."

The high sun on their backs made the already warm day hot on the way back from the garden and the picnic under the shade of the maple. Oscar followed in their wake, getting distracted by a butterfly, leaving them behind in his pursuit. Myka held the remains in one hand, a small hand in the other. The linked chain continued with Helena in between the two children.

"Mummy, will Steve be back in time for the birthday party?" Thomas asked, yanking her arm emphasizing the importance of the question.

"Please, Thomas, do not yank my arm like that. He should be. He's never missed your birthday dinner. He called this morning to say he was on his way home. It's his happiest day of the year, as it is mama's and mine."

"Did he get us good presents?" Grace asked. She tripped over a rock looking into the sun trying to see her mother's face. Simultaneously, Myka and Helena automatically lifted her up, preventing the fall.

"I don't know. Have you been good children?" Helena asked.

"Yes!" the two children yelled.

"Depends on the day," Myka said quietly.

"It sounds like mama may disagree with that assessment." Helena winked at Myka.

"Not at all. They let us sleep in this morning for a long time. That sounds like good children to me." Myka winked back, noticing the growing color of the mark on the back of Helena's neck. In a quiet voice above the chatter below she added, "I know it's hot, but mummy may want to consider letting her hair back down. I won't complain if she puts it up after bedtime though to cool off the back of her neck."

Ignoring her, blushing slightly, Helena continued, "I think Steve mentioned something about camping out back tonight for your birthday after cake. I saw Aunt Claudia getting the tent and sleeping bags out."

"Yea!" The children yanked their mothers off balance, jerking out of their hands to run ahead of them when their house came in sight.

She spared a glance at Myka, adding more softly, "Mummy would be delighted to put her hair back up for mama, not to mention a few other things that quickly come to mind whenever daddy duty happens and we're not thoroughly exhausted, as long as she shuts the windows. She's learned to accept air conditioning when it is to her advantage."

Helena filled her empty hand with the warmth and reassurance of Myka's as they continued the trek home. "I do wish they would stop yanking so. I fear I will soon find my arm torn out of its socket and bouncing behind them waving back at me."

Myka barked a laugh. "Well, that will certainly be the highlight of the day when it happens. Please remember to take a picture of the queen's wave for me." Myka unconsciously started swinging their latched hands. "They're starting to ask about Steve again. We need a family meeting so we're all on the same page."

Helena squinted into the sun. "Then it's time for the three of us to decide how we handle round two and have that big family meeting. Round one went well. This is where it really starts to get tricky, but I did insist. I want them to know their father, Myka, and where he fits in their lives. Our lives. Christina asked often enough, and she was well protected compared to these two. They'll be coming home with a great many questions soon. One thing at a time. I'll let him know tonight. Who knows, perhaps they'll decide to start calling him daddy. We can figure it out tomorrow."

"It wasn't my first choice, but I accepted and agreed to your wishes. So far it's worked, with a few kinks here and there, but…"

Grace stopped and said with great seriousness, "I think I need a snack to help me wait for dinner."

"Grace, we just ate lunch," Myka laughed. "They're bottomless pits these days," she said amazed. "Yes, but wait for me on the porch and we can pick something out together. God, they must both be going through another growth spurt. Expect a new round of clothes. They're eating us out of house and home. I swear we go to the grocery twice a week and I know it's not just for your weird, post-sex foods. Thank God for daddy days. I can't believe we have to send them off to school this year. I don't know if I can do it."

"We can still opt for a tutor instead and keep them here," Helena said seriously watching the two ahead of them. "Jane came up with more than one suitable candidate."

"No. We agreed they needed to live as normal a life as they can. Soon they're going to start asking even more questions. Grace was complaining the other day she didn't get to see Uncle Fartie at work and play seek and find for his cookies anymore. Maybe next year we'll transfer them to the private school if they start getting too bombarded by all the questions. It's pretty open-minded. We'll see how it goes. I'd like to think we're preparing them, but there's going to be something."

"We'll manage somehow." Helena swung Myka's hand up high, watching her feet in front of her. "We always do."

"Still...They've both got that brilliant brain of yours. We may end up with a tutor yet. It's going to be a whole new juggling act with school thrown in now. Always flying by the seat of our pants."

"I warned you. Welcome to motherhood," Helena smiled, squeezing her hand. "Before we know it, they'll be arguing about getting not-married."

They arrived at the porch, two tired faces peering up at them from the stairs.

Myka leaned over kissing Helena and whispered in her ear, "Do you mind going to the car and getting the you-know-whats and I'll get sleepy and sleepier here a snack and tuck them in for naps?"

"Mmmm." She kissed her back, memories of the morning invading her conscious mind. "Only if you wait for me for the tucking in part. I'll be quick. Then, I recommend we continue with more of the kissing thing. One can never have too much practice."

One more quick kiss and Myka nodded her head. "Agreed. It never goes that easily anyway. Oh, and, um, I was serious about the hair thing. That mark is getting darker by the minute and I really don't think I can survive you stumbling for an answer again when a little person points it out. It was kind of funny when you, of all people, couldn't talk yourself around the part that mama bites you and you really, really like it, after you just lectured a monkey on biting people. I really wish I had a camera for the expression on your face. Remember these two words for me; Big Bugs. They'll search for them for hours. I would have thought you had experience in that department from your former life of yours."

"No one else has ever been allowed to do such things, so it was never an issue," Helena commented, pulling her hair loose from it's restraints, running her fingers through it a few times. She pulled Myka back for another quick kiss, inhaling deeply. "Mmm. I love the way you smell. Perhaps Mama needs to be a bit more careful about where those big bugs bite to leave behind those mysterious marks."

Halfway to the car Helena heard the storm door slam behind her after the chaos on the porch. She laughed, shaking her head, happy for a moment away from that chaos. She suddenly stopped short, turning cold, her stomach dropping. Turning around she started running back to the house.

"Myka!"

She threw the door open and made three strides into the house when she felt the blast. The last thing she felt was the dull, air stopping pain down her back when she slammed against the wall.

* * *

She kept her eyes closed as he read. It wasn't the first time. He started the first time he sat with her. And she listened. She turned her face away when she was no longer able to restrain her tears. What a surprise she had that first reading. Looking back it became so much apart of their every day life. It changed them all. None of them would ever read it again. She knew the pain they'd feel. 'The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.' Those few words saw them through so much hardship and so much joy. Her heart felt nothing.

She turned to him, dark eyes soft. At peace.

"I've been reading it for awhile. I got my own copy for…for the kids." He swallowed. "Guess it made a bigger impact on us than we thought."

She motioned for the pad of paper and pencil. He reluctantly handed it over. "Don't over do it. Your stats are whacky according to Doc V." He smiled. "I don't want to get yelled at." He didn't want to admit she'd said they were 'less than favorable'.

She gave up trying to be legible and managed the best she could. She was so tired. 'Oscar'

Steve laughed at the page. "He's fine. Misses you. Claudia's spoiling him rotten."

She nodded once. Slowly she scrawled cross the page, "The thing that is important is the thing that cannot be seen…"

Steve leaned over her, almost touching, but so short of contact. He could feel the warmth of her skin. "Yeah, I know. Kind of your theme, isn't it?"

She shook her head. It was time. She turned the page and scrawled in big letters 'XXVI'.

He chuckled. "I thought Myka had that memory thing?"

She shook her head. 'repetition - Myka - our' she tried to circle with her hand, dropping it with fatigue. She picked it up again. 'children - mine. Myka's. yours - thank you.' Turning the page she tried again, slowly, 'laugh at stars.'

Tears fell from his face unheeded. "Helena, never thank me for what I wanted. I loved them too. You gave Grace my sister's name. We were so not a normal family, but it worked. I always find you in the silence, and I started finding them there too." He rubbed his eyes, finally conscious of the blurring vision.

She pushed out a few more words, dropping the pad.

Steve picked it up. A short tired scrawl crossed the yellow paper. Letting his eyes slowly cross the page he read the few words she'd found the energy still deep within her for.

'Time to go home.'

He sadly lifted his head, blocking out the sounds of the monitors, avoiding Helena's eyes.

"Yeah. We'll get you home soon. We'll put you in the old room for now…no, you probably don't want that…" he trailed off, tears forming in his eyes again. "I lost them too. I can't lose you."

She motioned for the pad. 'Maple. Legal docs?'

He looked at the pad, biting his lip. "Yeah. I've got them all. Mom and Claudia have been helping. I know; under the maple. Don't make me do this, Helena," he pleaded.

She nodded. She rested her head back and closed her eyes while Steve sat silently, holding her hand. She opened her eyes sometime later, attacking the pad with a burst of concentrated effort.

'family home. going home'

Steve shook his head, feeling the pain in his gut crawling up his throat, making him swallow audibly as it tightened. "We are your family."

She shook her head. 'tired. Myka - home'

He shook his head vehemently, feeling the tears build and dropped his head in his hands. "No, we are all your family!"

Slowly she wrote three words. 'Always. I promised.'

He thought back to the day they exchanged rings for the last time, the words that flowed so easily on that disorganized day. He finally lifted his eyes, blurred with tears. He set the pad aside, wrapping both of his hands around hers gently. Sniffing and rubbing his nose across his arm he made eye contact and nodded. "I know."

She shut her eyes, fatigued from the effort, meeting him once more in the silence, fading off with the welcome respite of the drugs. Steve waited in the silence, watching her fade off, then read the last chapter of the book that came to mean so much to their lives. The Little Prince.

* * *

She turned around confused. Was this really home?

"It's okay, Helena. You're a little confused. Myka's waiting," Leena said. "Your aura changed so much. You're at peace. You found your place. I knew you would. You had so much more to give than you knew. She released it."

"I need to go home," she said slowly.

Leena smiled. "Christina's waiting for you on the porch swing. She knows where home is."

"Mummy!" The girl ran to her, hugging her. "This way. Myka's waiting." She grabbed her hand pulling her off into the sun towards the garden. "You always knew." The girl let go of her hand running off to the two under the maple.

"You're here!" Myka exclaimed surprised. She turned away from the three children playing in front of her under the big maple and held out her hand, waiting for the comfort of the cold fingers to grasp it. "Your hands are warm," Myka said simply. "You should have waited."

"You are my home. I promised you, I'd always come home. Always." She squeezed Myka's hand, smiling at their three children in heart and soul, separated by time. All three fair skinned with thick, dark hair and deep, brown eyes, chasing each other around the garden.

"I know. Welcome home."

* * *

**A/N**: I realize this is a very different outcome than what we all ultimately want. Please, do remember it is only one of many and don't hold the lack of an obvious 'happy' ending against me. It is a glass half full/empty scenario. There are other endings still out there. One may even pop into my head one day. I wasn't expecting this one to get caught. There is always room for more.

* * *

"The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart."

"The thing that is important is the thing that can not be seen…"

_ - _The Little Prince_, Antoine de St. Exupery_


End file.
